1st Kind
Original Release Date: 10/12/3182
For their slender, outward appearance, 1st Kind were not, as some theorized, Martians. They were part of the race of creatures known as the Qetareti, perhaps a precursor to those who colonized Mars, though they were often confused nonetheless. Purposeful, gaunt, and slow, the people of Qetaret lived at their own pace. Technology was leaps and bounds ahead of the nearest planet, but trade, entertainment, and politics were calculated at the speed of tedium. Not content to sacrifice time for profit or success, they used their advanced minds (trapped within their bulbous heads) to calculate and determine the best solution to any problem at their own pace. But as younger and younger generations were born, the defects worsened. Fast-moving, less intelligent, impatient, this new generation was eager to unload their ancestors and launch out into the Void in search of something. 1st Kind made waves as the luckiest of their peers, stowing away on a frigate and finding themselves light-years from home in a split-second decision that angered their village chieftains. Raised on the deliberate, mathematical music of their forefathers, Alistare, Goostar, and Belllero twisted the old into a brave new sound that sustained their busking career, keeping them alive for several galactic years. Underground train tunnels, city streets, rain, snow; planet hopping, star system bopping; it mattered little, dear Audionauts. At breakneck speed, they pumped out dozens of songs, hoping those who had heard them before would forget them when a new song hit their ears, pushing listeners to dump more Space Bucks into their collection hat. The loose change came quickly, a little in their pocket, even more in their recording fund. Despite their shaggy appearance (long beards and a distinct smell from weathering the elements), money did really rule the Universe, and they booked a suite in the infamous Déjà Vu Studios, where legendary acts like Prickley Pete, Cid Daria, and Hydra At Heart had pumped out hit after hit. With a backlog a mile long, they recorded anything and everything. And, dear Audionauts, we do mean everything. 100 songs were mastered and collected in a single weekend, a feat which would have taken the last generation decades to accomplish. Because of the cost of cutting and printing vinyl, they whittled their discography down to just eight tasty tracks for their debut, On My Own, a culmination of their tumultuous time away from home and the new beginnings they had forged for themselves. Fast-paced, gritty, and reeking of the busking lifestyle and the odds and ends that inevitably lurk for those who take to the streets, the album is 18 minutes of insanity. Keyboards soar with blinding arpeggios as the kick drum sputters like a helicopter and Goostar's bass fuzzes with aplomb. Other albums followed in a similar vein, of course; curiously, though, to avoid saturating the market with their music, they were encouraged to stagger releases at a pace more akin to their homeworld of Qetaret. It was a masterful decision. Because of the Qetareti's penchant for deliberateness, the albums granted the band a century's worth of success, enabling 1st Kind to amass a fortune unheard of by their own race's standards. With the money, they funded research that bridged the gap with the old guard, letting the planet keep advancing with speed while still allowing the slowest moments to be savored (it turns out toxic waste runoff from a vitamin factory specializing in brain medication was the culprit). With the Board of Directors of the plant in custody and sentenced to hard labor, brighter days were ahead; just enough time to sit back, kick up their gangly feet, and enjoy the melodies.
Side A
Spare Change
Nothing I Can Do About The Smell
Stand Clear of the Closing Doors
Get Back Here!
Side B
fastSLOWfast
We've Got Company
The Old Guard
Hustle & Slow