Pickle Pals
Original Release Date: 02/23/3333
The pickle is a strange creature. Once a delicacy of residents of the Milky Way Galaxy, it was originally conceived as a way to preserve cucumbers (an Earthly fruit of high water value). Dunked in salty brine, it was left to cure into a tangy, crunchy addition to various sandwiches and culinary treats. That was, until an overzealous laboratory assistant at TCRC (the Transdimensional Cosmic Research Center) spilled a highly unstable substance (of the glowing, color-changing kind) into an open jar of pickles, of which he had recently partaken, and had forgotten to secure the lid. Uttering a solitary "Oops," he dismissed the brine and ooze mixing together, the jar shaking uncontrollably. Off went the light, and into his cruiser he jumped, bidding the parking lot a hearty farewell. Upon returning to the laboratory after a long holiday weekend (it was Mortimor Long Khorber Juneau Rhedoron Day), what awaited him was either a great scientific miracle or an abomination fit for an incinerator. Pickle Pals might not have had the storied histories of other food-based artists like Celery Hills Chop or Mascarpone Beach, but their origin story certainly inspired one of the most original albums in the Intergalactic Beets Project. Born that day in the laboratory of a careless low-level worker, their sentience improved rapidly, learning to read and write, and, yes, dear Audionauts, play the tastiest of beats. The ooze (the main petrochemical in most bath soaps) had fundamentally altered the cured cucumbers; however, their molecular changes bound them to the jar they would now call home. Much like gilled creatures, the Pickle Pals (Dill and Tara) would perish if removed from their brine for too long. Water- and salt-proof instruments proved difficult to source, but eventually they were afforded the necessary tools to tell their story. In Some Kind of Pickle spans nearly a decade of their journey, from the lonely dark laboratory to their awakening and subsequent stardom. The overzealous laboratory assistant, who changed his name to Captain Duncaan Cuke, became their overzealous manager, launching smear campaigns against doubters, trashing hotel rooms (on the band's behalf), and negotiating terms that favored his gambling addiction. Though Dill and Tara played live shows across the Universe, it was not until 10 years later that they released their first album. The impetus was the untimely death of Captain Cuke, who was sucked into a game of Five-Card Yorpii against a notorious gangster who made sure he paid with his life when the good Captain refused to pay his debts. Free of his control, they unleashed In Some Kind of Pickle and told their side of the story with the kind of infectious grooves the likes of which we have rarely seen. Fusing the bass-heavy licks of Pizza Bear with the stabbing melodies of Marscapone Beach, they transcended their influences and dunked listeners into a salty underworld. The eight tracks screamed of cyberpop and a dose of funk, injected with a gentle backing of comforting snare and bass, the birth, rise, fall, and rise of a couple of friends with nothing to lose. The message here was ultimately uplifting, but the destination was merely a light at the end of a tunnel, within view but far from reach. Pickle Pals would part soon after the album's release, Dill moving on to the Chicken Salad Collective and Tara to Gormand's Gastro World, but their indelible start had, thankfully, been captured so clearly, it left a wave of influence that is still admired today, along with that satisfying crunch that comes with the tastiest of beats.
Side A
Fermenting In Peace
Cosmic Delicacy
Bone and Brine
In Some Kind of Pickle
Side B
Kosher? I Hardly Know Her!
My Bread-and-Butter
Lactobacillus Intolerant
Gherkin