Mr. Alien

Original Release Date: 12/07/2275

On July 20, 1969, Earthlings Neil Armstrong and Edwin Eugene Aldrin Jr. became the first of their kind to set foot on the barren wasteland of their nearest moon (nicknamed: Moon). While the planet cheered (close to three-quarters of a billion creatures tuned in from Earth, via the Milky Way Galaxy), the Universe laughed. For nearly a billion years, the Earth had been a dumping ground for toxic waste runoff and, at one point, a penal colony for the most egregious of convicts. After a jettisoned nuclear fuel canister accidentally missed its intended target, it exploded with such force that a chunk of the terrain was dislodged and entered orbit, becoming a celestial body caught in Earth's magnetic field. Slowly, what little life remained died off from a lack of atmosphere, replaced by a cold, gray dust. So, dear Audionauts, when both Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Aldrin finally "conquered" the Moon for their species, it was met with a shrugged shoulder from the rest of the Void. While the feats of these bipedal creatures were, when viewed through the right lens, impressive, given their brain sizes, the most interesting byproduct of the Apollo Space Program was a total accident. Professor Juurtii Pleaki of Sfwirtuti University was the authority on all things Earth-related (and, by extension, the Milky Way Galaxy) and had been celebrated for his research into the emerging threat of late-stage extinction, proving that Earth's current state was accelerating towards a rapid demise of which there was little hope in preventing. In the summer of 1969, he had been given a grant to continue his work on Earth's moon, collecting samples and identifying microbial specimens to determine whether the plant could be sold for scrap or mined for additional Universal applications. When the Earthlings emerged from their rudimentary vehicle, Professor Pleaki realized that this was the closest he had ever been to realizing his life's work. Determined to make first contact, he approached slowly, a GUP-X Disintegrator pistol at the ready. With his arm outstretched, he intended to merely tap the astronaut on the shoulder to gain his attention, but the click of a camera frightened him; his blaster was accidentally activated, vaporizing and taking the life of Dr. Marshall T. Garbwin (whose sacrifice was selfishly covered up by Earth's governments for millenia to disprove the existence of life in the Universe). With both creatures screaming senselessly and Professor Pleaki apologizing profusely, it took time to realize that the Earthlings were unarmed. With tension and disbelief slowly fading (where else were the astronauts supposed to go?), and the mourning of Dr. Garbwin pushed to the wayside, it was time to get down to business. Days of negotiation and exploration followed: Mr. Armstrong and the Professor exchanging notes, comparing technology, and becoming fast friends (much to the chagrin of Mr. Aldrin, who was still reeling over the death of Dr. Garbwin and thirsty for vengeance). The Professor's existence would have to remain a secret, for now, as the planet would not be able to comprehend the encounter and would question why he had not been back to be vivisected and studied. However, the two made a pact to keep in touch and to share research whenever they could, so that both could benefit from the other and perhaps prevent Earth's destruction. Over the next forty-three years, Mr. Armstrong and Professor Pleaki exchanged detailed letters, ranging from scientific documentation to passionate arguments to their shared loneliness regarding their place in the Universe. Thousands of pages of correspondence were discovered in a crawlspace in the astronaut's home over 200 years after his mysterious disappearance. Some say he had decided to take his own life after years of illness; others believe that Professor Pleaki, under the cover of a research expedition, retrieved Mr. Armstrong and took him far beyond the stars. Wherever he is, we hope that he has at least heard the accompanying soundtrack, which was included in the publication of the duo's correspondence. The book, entitled Gnorts! A Friendship Beyond Time & Space took its title from the Ytrobial word for "pleasant greeting" and featured the unedited transcripts of their personal letters, warts and all. To accompany the book, Dodecahedron Publishing contracted the Venusian trio of Mr. Alien to take a crack at providing a soundtrack to the astounding narrative that unfolded in the pages of the unlikely friendship. Full of scientific wonder, conspiracy theories, love, anger, and resentment, the album, too, flows like a budding friendship until its zenith, where mystery becomes the central theme. While the book became a megahit, it was the album that helped launch Mr. Alien into superstardom. Their unique blend of atmospheric chillwave, dungeon synth, star pop, and proto-dance made them best suited to catch the nuance of Mr. Armstrong and Professor Pleaki's relationship. More tie-ins followed shortly (Autobiography of a Struggling Gnerlump; An Oral History of the Veconda; and Pursuit of Greatness: The Untold Story of an Abduction Addict), and soon there was little time for true originality. Mr. Alien had been pigeonholed (an Earth creature) and was doomed to tour the literary circuit indefinitely. With frustration mounting, the group disbanded to pursue their own ventures, leaving behind a legacy of soundtracks that forever shaped the meaning behind their source material. Interestingly enough, Mr. Aldrin (still scorned over the cover-up surrounding fellow astronaut Mr. Garbwin) attempted to eliminate the Professor by sending him a fake letter (care of Mr. Armstrong), to lure him into a deadly trap. The Professor, sensing the spelling errors in the letter might not have been intentional, failed to succumb to the ruse, leading Mr. Aldrin to descend into a spiral of mental anguish that ended with him hijacking a space shuttle and vanishing from Earth's orbit, never to be seen again. While Mr. Alien is no more, Gnorts! still lives on to this day, a reminder of the lengths to which humans will go to decode the Universe and its creatures, with little regard to who is hurt along the way.

Side A

1. Gnorts!

2. I Come In Peace

3. Return to Sender

4. Ruminations On A Close Encounter

Side B

1. The Future is Unwritten

2. Paradise By The Cockpit Light

3. Alone in the Universe?

4. Post Script