X
Original Release Date: 01/01/3024
Happy New Earth Year! For those who celebrate Planet X Day, we wish you our sincerest condolences. For, you see, dear Audionauts, Planet X is not a place you want to be. Every year, on January 1st, a portal somewhere in the universe splits open, revealing the terrifying, nightmare-soaked world of Planet X. This celestial body does not exist on our plain, but rather another timeline from another dimension. Anyone who is swallowed by the portal will be subject to the disgusting landscape full of creatures unknown and feared by any age. To combat the horror around this portal, the Tourism Board of Planet X enlisted the help of musicians swallowed into the unknown to create lighthearted beats that would encourage creatures to travel to the dystopian world beyond the forced indoctrination of January 1st. We must admit, the beats on Point of No Return are top-notch, and, for a brief moment, we considered visiting Planet X, but then we remembered the torture, the screams, and the aforementioned Point of No Return. The artists' names are unknown (Planet X strips you of everything that would make you identifiable), but the tastiest of propaganda is on display here: fun-in-the-sun (Planet X is totally underwater); beautiful vistas (their capital is made entirely out of bones); and unparalleled cuisine (we are vomiting just imaging what this might entail). All of it creates a powerful argument for spending your vacation days on Planet X, but we must caution you, that it is a complete 180-degree turn from reality. Planet X is to be avoided at all costs (though we do suggest you give Point of No Return at least one spin). While there is no escape from being chosen, we hope that the sentient portal does not choose you on this magically horrible day.
Side A
You Have Been Chosen
Portal Power!
Planet X
Fun In The Sun
Side B
Beautiful Vistas
Eat Until You Burst
Point Of No Return
See You Real Soon!